Building a Better U - Sleeping with the Enemy?

When you argue with you spouse do you feel like you are at war?

How do yo handle conflict in your relationship? Do you have reasonable disagreements or do you have knockdown drag out fights? In this episode we are going to talk about how to have constructive conflict that will build your relationship up instead of tearing it down.
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More old fashioned marriage: Keeping it Together

By Joseph Phillips-

Fourteen years of marriage! Even when I really take the time to study it, I have no clear answer as to how we made it this far. I have asked my wife and frankly, I don't care for the way she laughs before answering me. After all is said and done, she is no clearer on how or why we are approaching our ivory anniversary than I am.

How odd that I seem preoccupied with discovering the source of our longevity. Perhaps I should stop asking questions and thank my maker; the less I know the better. However, I can't help but wonder. We hear so often about the divorce rate and marriages. The streets of Los Angeles are littered with marriages that went stale at about the same time as the wedding cake. All of us know couples that did not make it this far. We are friendly with couples that may not make it much further.

I recently came across a bit of research that may shed some light on at least one road to marriage success.

Bradford Wilcox, a sociology professor at the University of Virginia, analyzed three national studies and concluded that couples who attended regular Christian church services were "35% less likely to divorce than those couples who did not." Not only do couples stay together longer, it also appears as if they are engaged in happier and healthier marriages. In addition, men attending regular church services are more active in the lives of their children than are men who are not. Wilcox does not comment on those Jewish couples or Muslim couples that attend regular services. I suspect, however, that the results may be similar.

Ultimately, marriage must be more than a mere social contract, more than a vehicle for the purpose of coupling and more than a simple expression of the natural affection that a man and woman may feel for each other. Lust is an intoxicating asset, but will never be enough to carry a couple through the tough times. The couples I know that have long lasting marriages are committed to an idea of the marriage union as representing an institution greater than the sum of its parts. For these couples, to marry is to dedicate one's life to a higher calling. Similar viewpoints are far more likely to be held by people of strong religious faith.

Of course, to paraphrase a popular saying, stuff happens. Two grown people living together, bringing with them all of their childhood baggage and disparate personalities attempting to merge two lives into one is difficult. And this before outside influences like money problems, sickness or unemployment. My marriage has certainly been no exception.

My wife and I have been around the corner and back again. Our marriage has at times resembled something from a Wes Craven film; call it "Nightmare on Elm Street." Happily, both my wife and I can point to the exact moment the rough road of our marriage began to smooth out; we began attending church services every Sunday. Soon afterwards, we both gave our lives to Christ. That was the turning point.

Our marriage is by no means perfect. I am certain my wife will confess that I continue to occasionally get on her last nerve. We are, however, more in love than ever and most importantly more committed than ever; 14 years in and eagerly looking forward to the next 14.

Like most couples, we married with hopes that it would be forever. Like other newlyweds, we began to build a family weaving our hopes and dreams together into an epic narrative. No doubt this is why most of the divorced couples I have known - my parents included -- suffered mightily during their break-up. Dreams and hopes do not die easily. When it seems that in spite of our best efforts we will fall short, we despair.

Faith is not a panacea. A 35% lower rate of divorce does not mean no chance of divorce. It does, however, suggest there is truth in the old adage that in navigating the trials that are inevitable with marriage; "the family that prays together stays together."

*Republished from 2008

To drink or not to drink? That is the question.

By Craig DeLuz

One of the most controversial and misunderstood issues in the church is whether or not it is a sin to drink alcohol.

Here we review what the Bible says about the consumption of alcohol and how you can decide whether or not it's ok for you.

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Johnny Lingo And His 10 Cow Wife

By Craig DeLuz

If you have never read this story before, you are about to truly be blessed! Every time I read it, I get choked up.

It reminds me of how blessed I am to have such a wonderful woman at my side, and just how important it is that I treat her like the gift from God that she is.

"Get Johnny Lingo to help you find what you want and then let him do the bargaining," advised Shenkin as I sat on the veranda of his guest house and wondered whether to visit Nurabandi. "He'll earn his commission four times over. Johnny knows values and how to make a deal."

"Johnny Lingo." The chubby boy on the veranda steps hooted the name, then hugged his knees and rocked with shrill laughter.

"Be quiet," said his father and the laughter grew silent. "Johnny Lingo's the sharpest trader in this part of the Pacific."

The simple statement made the boy choke and almost roll off the steps. Smiles broadened on the faces of the villagers st anding nearby.

Man Enough To Stand Alone

ByCraig DeLuz

It's easy to do the popular thing. It's not always so easy to do the right ting. And it really becomes a challenge when the right ting and the popular thing are not the same thing.

When confronted with situations like this are you man enough to stand alone?

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